Senior Citizen

You know what I really don't understand?  $300 wrinkle creams.  I've been told that once day, I will finally appreciate the chemical "genius" Lancome has to offer, but today is not that day.  Who cares about wrinkles?  Really.

Anything as an excuse to use my Weekend Update gif

    And on that extremely inspired segue...
    It's always been kind of a weird goal of mine to have people think I'm a lot older than I am.  Not, like, have people think I'm in college or just had my Sweet Sixteen, but have people think I am Over The Hill, To Old to Count (what does that even mean?  I can't write today).  I've also put way too much thought into what I'm going to be like when I'm officially a senior citizen and get to ride the bus for free on Wednesdays.  I hate gardening, so that's out.  I also hate sweater sets.  This is getting really stereotypical and probably offensive (but this whole post kind of is, so), I'm moving on.

The Inspiration: Duh, the Great Mother Judi Dench, who else?  Not only is she freakin' awesome, she is over 60 and looks damn fine:

AMIRITE?  Judi is also tres sassy, as evidenced by this facial expression

If you've got some extra cash, get yourself to a Chapters and pick up a copy of And Furthermore by the Great Mother herself.  

I keep my copy beside my bed, but come to think of it I should have another copy for my bag for those What Would Judi Do? moments

Just try to emulate her in every way possible.  Anyone over the age of 60 that embroiders swear words onto throw pillows knows what they're doing.

The Lifestyle:  First and foremost, start calling the remote the "clicker".  

     Then start knitting.  

     I recently started knitting, mostly because FG was away and I found some yarn in my basement, and it's oddly addictive.  My grandma told me they teach people in mental wards to knit because it calms them down or something, which might have been a hint at my mental stability, but I was too busy knitting myself a pair of mint green leg warmers to care!  I love knitting and plan on bringing my needles to camp this weekend (oh yeah, FG and I are going to camp!).  

I'm making leg warmers because they're a) the second easiest thing next to a scarf, and b) SUPER STYLISH, as evidenced by the photo above

The Fashion: This is where I like to emulate senior chic most frequently, because I can't carry my needles and yarn with me everywhere.  I have a shoes my friend calls my Granny Boots, and although he probably thinks it's an insult, he's dead wrong, because I feel a flash of pride for them every time he refers to them as that.  I got them for $20 on sale (!) at Urban Outfitters and have been wearing them non-stop for almost a year.  They're black leather with a BUILT IN SOCK AROUND THE ANKLE.  Actually, what more could you ask for?  They've also got a buckle strap thingy, broguing (helpful term I picked up in Vogue) and laces, so basically, they're every single boot you could want in one.

After extensive searching, I found them on Google!  They're my pride and joy

You're also going to need a long brown cardigan, lots of floral print, various other cardigans, and lots of pantie hoes.  

This will do, if you're willing to shell out 165$ to Shopbop.  I got mine at Smart Set for 20$!  All my granny apparel is twenty dollars come to think of it...

- CC

I Love Marcus' Hair

One of my favorite movies is About a Boy, and haterz can hate.

And I've got GIFs (and pictures) for y'all!

This is FG and I, completely, on a Saturday night.  I'm Marcus, obviously, and she's Will, because Will's the one with hip clothing and she cries when he cries.

FG found this (again, she's way cooler than I am), and I love it so much.  You have no idea.  I don't know what else to say.  I love everything about this so much.

Sometimes I hear Marcus' voice in my head, and he's usually singing "shake your a**" or this.

"Rainy days and Mondays always get me down"

The people out there who make About a Boy GIFs (love you all) really like putting the sad Marcus quotes in black and white.  Sometimes I start to feel real sadness for Marcus even though he's a fictional character and now he's all grown up and dating Jennifer Lawrence (??!!!!??!!!!!)

Seriously, they're all in black and white!  When I see Marcus cry I cry a little too.

Hugh Grant could say "I'm really fond of knitting" and I would chuckle, nudge FG in the ribs and say OH HUGH YOU DEVIL.

I may love this as much as I love the other one of him in a wool hat.  Mostly because I look like this when I'm on my way to school, and I make that facial expression 900 times a day.

Yay he's happy now

And we end with a smile

- CC

Our traffic sources...

.... good to see why we have such a huge fanbase

COOKING WITH MAMA CC: Don't Reblog on an Empty Stomach

Between the pie story, my public love letter to Kraft Dinner, and, if you know me personally, the fact that I mooch off of people's lunches all the time, you can probably tell I like food.

     There are some things I will always reblog: pictures of young Rupert Grint, Perks of Being a Wallflower gifs and delicious-looking food.
     How do people do it?  If I ever made something that amazing-looking (and probably smelling) I wouldn't wait to Instagram it, I would devour it whole.  I wouldn't put it through a filter and pose with my hand drizzling chocolate sauce over it, I would shove it in my mouth.  Amirite?

     These pictures made me feel all warm and fuzzy (and hungry) inside and even though I just had dinner I'm going to go make myself a sandwich and tea after this.

Maybe I shouldn't have started with my favorite of the bunch, but I was just too excited.  This makes me happy.  First of all because it reminds me that soon it will be the kind of weather where  I can wear sweaters and boots, and second because mmmmm caramel sauce I've got apples, I've got ice cream and I've got caramel, maybe I can do this.
     But how DOES one go about hollowing out an apple so perfectly?

I eat this every day for breakfast and probably will until I die.  Except I add more cream cheese to my bagel.  

OOOOOHHHMYYYGOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH I will eat ANYTHING garlic-based or on penne.

Be mine.

What is this?  It looks like really thick icing with sprinkles.  I'm down.

Typical Saturday night with FG and CC (except we don't drizzle our sauces on that skillfully).

You make my dreams come true.

I want you.  I want you so bad.

- CC

Blog Spotlight

F Yeah: Joseph Gordon-Levitt

I love JGL more than anything in the world. More than Second Cup hot chocolate with caramel, more than rainy days with a new Nylon, more than when Zoe from Fashiononymous posts three new outift posts in a week! Needless to say, he is my life and probably everything more. He makes me cry and unable to form proper sentences so I'll just leave you with a few of my favourites from the amazing blog, fyeahjosephglevitt.com.

Literally my favourite thing in the WHOLE ENTIRE world







Hope you Joseph Gordon-Loved it (CC made up JGLoveit cant take credit for it but I wish I did with a  fiery passion)

-FG
PS: I realize this post kind of sucks I just have a lot of emotions.

This is me

Here at the Melted Mars Bars Headquarters, it may seem like all we do all day is go online and make fun of things.  Spoiler alert: it's true! (aside for the small portion of time also spent on the internet, not making fun of things.) Today, thanks to Hannah (shout out to Hannah even though she never reads our blog), I have found a potential gold mine of comedic material that makes weheartit.com frown and shake their fist. Behold, the genius works behind the "and that's who I am." tumblr.

Oooh music is your escape from your life of Starbucks frappucinos and sleek Macbooks? DEEEP.

What does this even mean? You dream of going to Canada, or you literally just dream about Canada? 

You LITERALLY could not just say "Music is my life <33" with a few Blingeed hearts for an added effect? "Hey man, do you like music?" "Yeah, I just fall irrevocably in love with voices, you know?" Also this would sound weird even weirder if there was no picture for some sort of guideline.

Oddly specific and kind of random. Good for you?

THIS IS WHO I AM!

This picture kind of speaks for itself.

Not gonna lie this is actually a pretty cool picture but ruined with an ugly font and a stupid phrase. If you didn't spend hours thinking you would probably be dead.

This picture makes sense. I get you bro.

Is it just me, or do these sound really aggressive? It's like they're accusing you to challenge who they are.  I LIKE CATS OK AND THAT'S WHO I AM I CAN BE WHATEVER I WANT F*&# THE WORLD!

Until the next one (and you can bet your bottom dollar there will be one), I remain yours truly....

    ^That's me!

-FG

Just a Little Something to Brighten Your Day #2

Whenever I am sad, I will look at this picture.  This is literally the best thing I've seen in ages and I've been Tumblring for three days straight.

I don't know, maybe I'm the only one obsessed with young Rupert Grint...

Just look at that sweater.

- CC